LOST IN TRANSLATION
A game with real situations, which are very close to everyday life, show you how some things appear clear at first glance, but are in fact unclear.
It helps you to avoid common pitfalls in communication and put yourself in other people’s shoes.

Game

Personal skills

Better listening skills

1 Person

40 min

SYMPTOMS

  • People misunderstand you
  • People don’t react as you expect
  • You are often involved in conflicts

RESULTS

  • You hear clearly and understand correctly the other person’s messages
  • You react adequately to the other person’s messages
  • You aren’t surprised by the reactions of others and the outcome of the communication
  • Fewer conflict situations

HOW TO TAKE THIS PILL

Get familiar with the Four-Ears Model
Read how to play the game (Instructions)
Choose a level according to the difficulty (0, 1 or 2)
Check out the specific instructions for each level
Start the game by looking at a situation from the selected level
Look at the picture and guess the right answer using The Four-Ears Model
The pill starts here {
Example: How I answer, hearing with different ears

Factual ear

You are wrong!

“Everything is clear. We haven’t had time to implement them.”

Self-revealing ear

You are wrong!

“Aren’t you happy with our work?”

Relationship ear

You are right!

Appeal ear

You are wrong!

“Let’s look at them now.”

Factual ear

You are wrong!

“It’s true you’ve had to fix a lot of defects in the past sprints.”

Self-revealing ear

You are wrong!

“You are sick of fixing defects?”

Relationship ear

You are wrong!

“As if we don’t fix defects!?”

Appeal ear

You are right!

Factual ear

You are right!

Self-revealing ear

You are wrong!

“You have something planned for tonight?”

Relationship ear

You are wrong!

“I’m sorry my team messed up in the last moment.”

Appeal ear

You are wrong!

“I’ll send Charlie to stay with you.”

Factual ear

You are wrong!

“They are at work now, it’s not possible.”

Self-revealing ear

You are right!

Relationship ear

You are wrong!

“Am I not entertaining enough?”

Appeal ear

You are wrong!

“Let’s call them on the phone.”

Factual ear

You are wrong!

“Оh, right, I remember you sent something.”

Self-revealing ear

You are wrong!

Did I mess up your plans somehow?

Relationship ear

You are right!

Appeal ear

You are wrong!

“I’ll look at the email now.”

Factual ear

You are wrong!

“Really? When is it not working?”

Self-revealing ear

You are right!

Relationship ear

You are wrong!

“I can’t test every possible scenario!”

Appeal ear

You are wrong!

“Send me the steps to reproduce the error and I will debug it.”

Factual ear

You are right!

Self-revealing ear

You are wrong!

“You are afraid to start something new?”

Relationship ear

You are wrong!

“I like working with you as well!”

Appeal ear

You are wrong!

“I’ll discuss this with my boss.”

Factual ear

You are wrong!

“It’s normal, they last that long once picked.”

Self-revealing ear

You are wrong!

“Are you said they are dead?”

Relationship ear

You are wrong!

“You mean I gave you bad flowers?”

Appeal ear

You are right!

Factual ear

You are wrong!

“You need more time. Most people spend months until they understand it.”

Self-revealing ear

You are wrong!

“Don’t worry, you need more time.”

Relationship ear

You are wrong!

“The architecture is perfect! Go make it yourself next time!”

Appeal ear

You are right!

Factual ear

You are wrong!

“Yes, you haven’t drunk recently.”

Self-revealing ear

You are wrong!

“You are tired and don’t want to get up to drink?”

Relationship ear

You are right!

Appeal ear

You are wrong!

“I’ll get you a glass of water.”

Factual ear

You are right!

Self-revealing ear

You are wrong!

“Are you annoyed that it’s not symmetrical?”

Relationship ear

You are wrong!

“You are saying I can’t draw!?”

Appeal ear

You are wrong!

“I’ll redraw it right away!”

Factual ear

You are wrong!

Yes, we haven’t cleaned for a while.

Self-revealing ear

You are wrong!

I know you don’t like it like this.

Relationship ear

You are right!

Appeal ear

You are wrong!

OK, we’ll clean today.

Factual ear

You are wrong!

“C’mon! We discussed your latest improvement just yesterday.”

Self-revealing ear

You are right!

Relationship ear

You are wrong!

“I’m sorry, I can’t handle all the tasks that are expected of me.”

Appeal ear

You are wrong!

“I’ll review them right away.”

Factual ear

You are wrong!

“The blue one or the one with the circles?”

Self-revealing ear

You are wrong!

“Do you like it?”

Relationship ear

You are wrong!

“You think it doesn’t fit me well?”

Appeal ear

You are right!

Factual ear

You are wrong!

“Yeah, I know. I’ve marked the date in my calendar.”

Self-revealing ear

You are right!

Relationship ear

You are wrong!

“I won’t forget and I don’t need you to remind me every single day!”

Appeal ear

You are wrong!

“I’ll tell you again – I’m not going to cancel my family engagement.”

Factual ear

You are right!

Self-revealing ear

You are wrong!

Are you in a hurry?

Relationship ear

You are wrong!

Am I that slow?

Appeal ear

You are wrong!

I’ll send you an invitation today.

What would be the response using the self-revealing ear?

"What? You think I haven't tried a few options already?"

Relationship ear

"You are worried there is not enough white space?"

You are right!

"Yeah, there is. I tried smaller font but it was not readable."

Factual ear

"I'll try to cut some of the text."

Appeal ear

What would be the response using the relationship ear?

"Do you want me to make you something else?"

Appeal ear

"Are you sick of them?"

Self-revealing ear

"Yes, Bolognese."

Factual ear

"I was working late and couldn't do something more sophisticated!"

You are right!

What would be the response using the factual ear?

"Let me help you."

Appeal ear

"You think I am working on easy tasks!?"

Relationship ear

"Do you need help?"

Self-revealing ear

"It’s expected - you’ve been trying for a week."

You are right!

What would be the response using the appeal ear?

"You got overwhelmed by work today."

Self-revealing ear

"I am sorry, I shouldn’t have given you the last task."

Relationship ear

"Let's call it a day."

You are right!

"Yes, I see you are tired."

Factual ear

What would be the response using the factual ear?

"You don’t want the night to be over?"

Self-revealing ear

"I like you too, but I am a gentleman."

Relationship ear

"Do you have 'Lavazza'?"

You are right!

"OK, let’s go!"

Appeal ear

What would be the response using the relationship ear?

"I won’t do anything about it."

Appeal ear

"We don’t plan any promotions this month in the company."

Factual ear

"You want a second opinion?"

Self-revealing ear

"I am glad you are counting on me about this!"

You are right!

What would be the response using the self-revealing ear?

"I’ll tell you all the details when we see each other."

Appeal ear

"Everything is fine."

Factual ear

"Stop worrying about me so much."

You are right!

"I’m a grown-up, leave me alone!"

Relationship ear

What would be the response using the appeal ear?

"I am sorry I couldn’t find you a new opportunity within the team."

Relationship ear

"How long can you stay?"

Factual ear

"We’ll discuss how we can promote you into a senior position."

You are right!

"Do you find your current work as routine and boring?"

Self-revealing ear

Factual ear

"You are disappointed that I didn’t listen to you?"

You are wrong!

"I’ll talk to him about his performance."

You are wrong!

"I am sorry! I was wrong and I should have listened to you."

You are wrong!

"You were right."

You are right!

Self-revealing ear

"You are disappointed that I didn’t listen to you?"

You are right!

"I’ll talk to him about his performance."

You are wrong!

"I am sorry! I was wrong and I should have listened to you."

You are wrong!

"You were right."

You are wrong!

Relationship ear

"You are disappointed that I didn’t listen to you?"

You are wrong!

"I’ll talk to him about his performance."

You are wrong!

"I am sorry! I was wrong and I should have listened to you."

You are right!

"You were right."

You are wrong!

Appeal ear

"You are disappointed that I didn’t listen to you?"

You are wrong!

"I’ll talk to him about his performance."

You are right!

"I am sorry! I was wrong and I should have listened to you."

You are wrong!

"You were right."

You are wrong!

Factual ear

"OK, let's do it now."

You are wrong!

"I don’t have many observations. Better talk to the team."

You are right!

"I am happy you think of me highly!"

You are wrong!

"Do you want a raise?"

You are wrong!

Self-revealing ear

"OK, let's do it now."

You are wrong!

"I don’t have many observations. Better talk to the team."

You are wrong!

"I am happy you think of me highly!"

You are wrong!

"Do you want a raise?"

You are right!

Relationship ear

"OK, let's do it now."

You are wrong!

"I don’t have many observations. Better talk to the team."

You are wrong!

"I am happy you think of me highly!"

You are right!

"Do you want a raise?"

You are wrong!

Appeal ear

"OK, let's do it now."

You are right!

"I don’t have many observations. Better talk to the team."

You are wrong!

"I am happy you think of me highly!"

You are wrong!

"Do you want a raise?"

You are wrong!

Factual ear

"Yes, we’re very bad at planning."

You are wrong!

"You feel angry that we had to work during the weekend?"

You are wrong!

"That’s a good idea."

You are right!

"We’ll discuss this at the next retro."

You are wrong!

Self-revealing ear

"Yes, we’re very bad at planning."

You are wrong!

"You feel angry that we had to work during the weekend?"

You are right!

"That’s a good idea."

You are wrong!

"We’ll discuss this at the next retro."

You are wrong!

Relationship ear

"Yes, we’re very bad at planning."

You are right!

"You feel angry that we had to work during the weekend?"

You are wrong!

"That’s a good idea."

You are wrong!

"We’ll discuss this at the next retro."

You are wrong!

Appeal ear

"Yes, we’re very bad at planning."

You are wrong!

"You feel angry that we had to work during the weekend?"

You are wrong!

"That’s a good idea."

You are wrong!

"We’ll discuss this at the next retro."

You are right!

Factual ear

"I’m not little anymore! Stop reminding me!"

You are wrong!

"Yes, I was even done before noon."

You are right!

"I’ll do it in a minute."

You are wrong!

"Ugh, mom, stop worrying!"

You are wrong!

Self-revealing ear

"I’m not little anymore! Stop reminding me!"

You are wrong!

"Yes, I was even done before noon."

You are wrong!

"I’ll do it in a minute."

You are wrong!

"Ugh, mom, stop worrying!"

You are right!

Relationship ear

"I’m not little anymore! Stop reminding me!"

You are right!

"Yes, I was even done before noon."

You are wrong!

"I’ll do it in a minute."

You are wrong!

"Ugh, mom, stop worrying!"

You are wrong!

Appeal ear

"I’m not little anymore! Stop reminding me!"

You are wrong!

"Yes, I was even done before noon."

You are wrong!

"I’ll do it in a minute."

You are right!

"Ugh, mom, stop worrying!"

You are wrong!

} THE PILL ends here

SIDE EFFECTS – POSITIVE AND NEGATIVE

You will be able to put yourself in other people’s shoes more easily.

With the right messages, you will get the result you are looking for.

You will not be satisfied that others will not hear you with the desired “ear”.
Quite often you will have to explain The Four-Ears Model to others.

For better effect – take together with

EXPECT THE
UNEXPECTED
Symptoms:
  • You are unhappy with the outcome when you collaborate with others
  • Mismatch between final results and agreements
  • You can’t predict the other person’s expectations
GIVING
FEEDBACK
Symptoms:
  • You avoid giving negative feedback
  • People reject your feedback
  • You give feedback but there is no change
TOUGH TALKS
WITH FOLKS
Symptoms:
  • You can’t defend your position
  • You unwillingly agree to requests
  • You attack when defending

Feedback

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