What stops the feedback you’ve given reach the other person?
There are thousands of ways to screw up when giving feedback.
One thing that is most common is that we tend to rush things.
Our goal is for the other person to change their behaviour as soon as possible and we often put obstacles instead of removing them.
What we want to happen (in that order) is for the other person to:
1️⃣ Listen to what we are saying – One must first actively listen to us. If we use words like “always”, for example, we can cause a person to stop listening to us… and we can continue talking to the point.
2️⃣ Understand it – The more specific we are, the better chance we have of being understood correctly. If there are no examples, there is a chance they will misinterpret what we are saying.
3️⃣ Accept it – Once a person understands what we mean they must accept it. Sometimes it takes time to accept it. So we might let them watch for this behavior in the future.
4️⃣ Act upon it – Sometimes a person has accepted everything, but it is difficult for him to change. It may be necessary to talk about the same topic many times, especially if it is related to habits.
💡 We should focus on all of the barriers, one by one.