Don’t make people the same

#61, Jul 4, 2024

Once upon a time, in a tech org not far away, there was a leader…

An engineering manager was in a 1-1 meeting with a test engineer on his team.

“You’re too silent during meetings. You have great ideas, but you should be more vocal so people listen to you.” – the manager said.

The test engineer felt the pressure.
The mere thought of being vocal made her stomach hurt.

Hi 🙂 Hari here.

/* I’m writing this on a Thursday afternoon. I just ate traditional Moussaka for lunch and I’m listening to Jurisprudence by Brain.fm (the typical song I listen to while writing the newsletter). */

Today’s tale is focused on why you shouldn’t make people on your team the same.

Weak teams try to turn everyone the same

I often observe today’s tale (usually when doing Anxiety Parties with teams).
It’s a pattern I see.
It’s a pattern I hate.

People are forced to act the same:
◽️ quiet people? → you should talk more
◽️ vocal people? → you should listen more
◽️ direct people? → be more empathetic
◽️ empathetic people? → be more direct

I’ve been in the same position in the past.
And I felt compelled to make everyone the same.

My company had some standards people should follow.
And my role as a manager was to guide people to adhere to these standards.

Strong teams embrace different people

As Dariusz Sadowski commented on my LinkedIn post about this:
◽️ quiet people → have someone vocal to speak for the team
◽️ vocal people → have someone quiet to analyze the problem
◽️ direct people → have someone who can negotiate
◽️ empathetic people → have someone to draw the line in the sand

Different people means different perspective.
And differences break most teams.

Conflicts arise.
Communication worsens.
No one feels they belong.

But that’s where good leadership comes into play.

When you use people’s unique perspective and skills, you’ll get a strong diverse team.

A great leader will make sure that:
→ people’s differences are respected
→ people’s differences are used as a team strength
→ people feel they belong, despite their differences

Individual strength becomes the team’s strength.
Individual weakness is covered by someone else’s strength.

Treat standards and personality traits differently

Now, don’t get me wrong.
As a leader, you’ll have to challenge people.
And you’ll have to push them to follow a standard.

But standards and personality traits should be treated differently.

You’ll also have some non-negotiables in terms of behavior.
Then, by all means, do enforce them.

But you should make a conscious decision between what’s different and acceptable and what’s different but non-acceptable.

As sometimes, the different perspective is a shortcut.
Not a bad behavior.

Why you shouldn’t make people the same?
(summary)

  1. Personality traits ≠ Non-negotiable behavior ≠ Team standards
  2. Diverse perspective and skills makes teams stronger.
  3. Differences lead to bad conflicts. But also to shortcuts. That’s where good leadership comes into play.
  4. Strong teams use individual strengths as their advantage.

… and the team lived happily ever after.

P.S.

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