How to set clear expectations on your team

#63, Sep 10, 2024

Once upon a time, in a tech org not far away, there was a leader…

An engineering manager was lying in bed.

It was past 10:30 PM. Her eyes were closed.
But she couldn’t sleep.

Her mind was racing. She was thinking about a developer on her team.
The developer was not performing as expected.
She always had to put in extra effort so that his work would meet the quality standards in the team.
She was exhausted.

“Is it enough? Is it time to part ways?” she asked herself.

Hey 🙂 Hari here.

/* I’m writing this on a cloudy Tuesday morning. I just got back from a morning walk to get a few online orders from a local office. It’s been a while since I wrote ALT, I skipped the whole August

Welcome to the 34 new ALTers
So many things happened in the past month or so.
I’ll update you in the last section of today’s newsletter. */

Today’s tale is focused on how to properly manage expectations.
That’s a recurring topic I talked about with a few managers in the past 2 months.

Nobody wants to be a bad person

What I often see in situations similar to today’s tale is avoidance.
Managers avoid being candid.
Because they don’t want to be the bad person.

So, they sugarcoat it.
They are not direct.
They leave things unclear.

/* I’ve already written on how to give direct & empathetic feedback.
And how to set high standards on your team.
And how to deal with bad apples. */

But:
⚠️ lack of clarity
↳ lack of understanding
↳ lack of commitment
↳ detached people
↳ exhausted managers

Lack of clarity from your side makes you sleepless at night.
And before you let someone go, you owe them clarity.

If everything’s clear and the expected outcome’s not there:
then follow my advice in this short video (1:10 min).

How to achieve clarity?

The golden rule of overcommunication

The moment you’re sick of repeating a message is the moment people start listening.

The worst mistake managers do is say it once and expect people to understand.

The Gray Area activity

But let’s make it more practical with this simple Gray Area activity you can do with your people.

If you look at the gray area illustration, it shows that there are three areas in any context of expected behavior:
1) green area: clearly understood to be mandatory
2) red area: clearly understood to be forbidden
3) gray area: everything else (not clear)

Your goal is to always shrink the gray area.
To align each other on your expectations.

So, how would the engineering manager align her expectations with the developer?

Here’s the simple activity:
1) set the context: focus on the area/situation you see misalignment
2) both, on your own, write down 3 lists: the green, the red, the gray
3) compare lists
4) discuss where you’re aligned and where there are different expectations
5) clearly define those mismatches – they’re either green or red*

* you can leave something in the gray area on purpose, when it’s up to the person to decide whether to do something or not; but then you can’t hold them accountable on this.

I advise doing this activity when onboarding someone into a new role.
And then doing it regularly until clarity is achieved.

Expectation gaps

Keep in mind that everyone goes with a baggage full of expectations that have not been discussed at all.

These are the so-called expectations gaps:

  • imagination gap: you expect, because you imagine it that way
  • experiential gap: you expect, because you’ve experienced it like that in the past
  • interpersonal gap: you expect, because your peers have it/do it

It’s not your fault that these expectations are there.
But it’s your job to find them out and manage them properly.

How to manage expectations
(summary)

  1. Overcommunicate. The moment you’re sick of repeating a message is the moment people start listening.
  2. Keep in mind there are expectation gaps. You’ve not created these expectations, but they exist. And you should manage them.
  3. Be clear with your expectations and be direct with your feedback when they’re not met.
  4. Regularly shrink the gray area (of unclear expectations). Follow the gray area activity to discuss & align on expectations.

… and the team lived happily ever after.

P.S. Highlights from the past month

So many things happened behind the scenes.

  1. I co-hosted one of the largest conferences for tech people in Bulgaria – DEV.BG All in One 2024. Together with Zori from DEV.BG we made sure 1600+ people had a great experience. (Here’s an unorthodox way I prepared my voice for the conference – performing to a Bulgarian rap song)
  2. Our small startup had its 8th birthday! I recorded this video while on holiday in Italy (people said it was bad ). For Bulgarians – there’s a podcast episode on building a startup we did for its 6th birthday.
  3. We facilitated the results of a team assessment using our tool for the first time. I’m sure you know about our TReE Team Scan tool – it’s designed for you to be able to assess your team and discuss tough topics with your people in a very easy way. Well, a manager asked us to assist on the discussions.
  4. We did our first open webinar. The topic was how to talk with strong-willed colleagues when you disagree. It was in Bulgarian, but we might do it again in English. Write back if you want to participate in an English edition.

I’m sure I missed a lot of things to highlight, but that’s enough I guess.
I’d love to hear from you.

I put a lot of effort into these newsletters.
And I want to get your honest feedback on them

Cheers,
Hari

An ad I did on our TReE Team Scan tool.
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