4 tips when you have to critique someone 👇

“It’s your fault!” – this triggers so much when receiving feedback.

Critiquing someone can go bad so easily.

Different people react to different things.

However, there are some things that we can manage better:

🏷️ Beware of the word “you”.

People get defensive quite easily when they are the center of negative attention. I’m not saying not to use “you”, but sometimes it’s not necessary. If possible – express things from your perspective, using “I” statements. The person will feel less blamed.

🏷️ Forget about “always”, “never”, “often”.

These words generalize. You use them to put more weight in the argument, but what happens is you put more weight in the other person’s defense. And rarely it’s the case that someone always or never does something. Be specific.

🏷️ Don’t assume.

You don’t know why a person behaves in a certain way. You have your observations that make you think like that, but you are not in another person’s head to know exactly. Be factual and express what you see.

🏷️ Focus on the behavior, not the person.

The quickest and easiest way to critique is to put labels. That’s the most ineffective way if you want to actually be heard. Don’t use negative labels, express the behavior. People’s character doesn’t change easily. A behavior could.