How to overcome giving ineffective feedback?

The illustration shows 2 people, between which stand the four barriers that stop a person from receiving feedback.


You are frustrated that you tell them BUT they don’t change. There are thousands of ways to screw up when giving feedback. Especially when it’s negative.

Our desire is for the other person to change their behavior as soon as possible. And the most common mistake is that we tend to rush things. We often put up barriers between us instead of removing them.

Your goal is NOT to just say what’s on your mind.

Your goal is for the other person to take action upon your feedback.


What stops the other person from receiving your feedback?

Our gang offers a step-by-step approach to ensure your feedback is received and acted upon.


1. Make sure the other person listens to what you are saying

One must first actively listen to you.

Don’t say something false.
Don’t generalize.
Don’t use “always” or “never”.

Otherwise, you can cause a person to stop listening to you.


2. Make sure you are understood correctly

Be specific and give 1 recent example.

The more specific you are, the better chance you have of being understood correctly. If there are no examples, there is a chance they will misinterpret what you are saying.


3. Be patient about accepting your feedback

Don’t force people to accept. Allow people time to process. You might let them watch for this behavior in the future.


4. It may take repeated discussions to get the person to act upon your feedback

There is a huge gap between awareness and change. Sometimes a person has accepted everything, but it is difficult for them to change. It may be necessary to talk about the same topic many times, especially if it is related to habits. Be supportive and don’t expect change overnight.


You should focus on all of the barriers, one by one.

See some examples of DO’s and DON’Ts when giving feedback.

Don’t wait up! – Master your giving feedback skills!

Learn more...